Watch what you say and especially how you say it

Ok, maybe I'm guilty of this too... probably I am; I'm sure we all are to some extent. But I think more important than WHAT a person says is HOW they say things. People don't really realize how hurtful they can be and how sometimes what they say and how they say it only hurts their cause.

I recently was subjected to... nope, wrong word (as I was there willingly)... fine how about... Recently I was a spectator in a long drawn out back and forth argument on another blog site. I was going to get involved and speak my mind, but realized quickly that I had nothing nice to say and on occasion I DO remember that I am a polite Southern girl!

A word about this other blog site.... I LOVE it!!! It's a great site and the people who run it seem like good folks too. I don't necessarily always agree with everything people say on the site but I respect their opinions, except for.... well, you'll see....

This was not the first "argument" I had seen on this blog, but it just made me completely frustrated. The thing is the person who is most combative and generally starts things off by attacking someone else (let's call him Chuck)... Chuck is probably a really great person; he obviously believes what he is saying and feels passionately about it. But two things always happen: one is that it doesn't matter what the original post is about, we always get off track once Chuck starts typing. Two (and this is a biggie), it's the way he says things. He attacks and then takes offense when people attack back or get defensive - I know this from personal experience as I've gone head to head with him... once... it was an unpleasant experience which I never wish to repeat. Chuck comes across as someone who thinks he is always right and that unless you agree with him - word, line and verse... you must just be wrong! And that, in and of itself, would be ok, if he were nice about it, but he's not... he's condescending, he berates people and he's just otherwise annoying.

Ok, deep breaths... obviously you can tell that Chuck is not my favorite person! So, here is Chuck, probably a great guy, trying to convince everyone of his stance on X, but really all he does is turn people off. He is doing absolutely nothing to further his cause or prove his point. Because at the end of the day, here's how I feel: no matter if I believe (way down deep in my heart) that Chuck is right about some of what he says... I would rather walk over hot goals and broken glass than admit it out loud.

I don't really know what that says about me... and maybe I'm scared to examine it too closely, but either way that's a blog for another day!!